First order of business: United has made a good effort to rectify the situation with Steph’s gear, so pending the final outcome of that, I may decide corporations aren’t all bad. For a more thorough story, go to Steph’s blog.

•••

When I first started climbing, I used to get this really intense ache in my hands every time I thought about climbing–almost like that feeling you get in your chest when you really miss someone. Earlier this week, on my way home from the gym it happened again, for the first time in a long time. I had almost forgotten how it felt! I’m no longer obsessive and debilitatingly enraptured by the idea of climbing. Instead, I realize that it has come to be a part of my life that’s here to stay. I can trust that it’s not going anywhere, and that it wasn’t a passing interest.

I have a tendency to go “all in” when I like something, which means that conversely I am “all out” if I’m not in. This all-or-nothing trait drives my passions in a way that can sometimes make me impossible to reason with. Sometimes it means that I don’t pursue things I won’t succeed in.

When I became a climber, I went all in. I thought about it constantly, talked about it all the time, read book after book about climbing and mountaineering, and watched as my priorities shifted a little. I have always been a good student who was good at doing school and not sports, and so it took me by surprise to be so devoted to something that wasn’t school related.

Not quite a year ago, I remember sitting in a local burrito shop with a climbing friend and realizing that I was struggling with this concept of becoming a “climber”. I suppose at this juncture in life I do fancy myself a climber, whatever that means, save for the fact that my idea of a climber does a lot more outdoor climbing than I currently do. Then again, that may just be my general insecurity talking. I know that I’ve chosen to have the obligations and activities that I have, so I don’t resent not getting outside as much as I’d like.

At the gym this last session, I had the pleasure of setting up a mock lead climbing scenario for a couple of my friends who are newer climbers. Since I haven’t led in a while (the rules for leading were changed a few months ago) it was good to refresh my own skills and critical eye by setting up the mock lead. It was even better to realize their eagerness to learn was infectious. I left that session with a renewed interest in something I love. I’ve spent many hours on those walls, processing all the messy noise of my life. It’s good to do that again.

I’m eager for the events of the next several days and hopeful that some interesting stories and photos will come to pass!

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