“When we are bubbling with energy and looking forward to some pleasant experience, it seems self-evident that life is wonderful. When we get tired, it suddenly begins to seem obvious that all effort is a waste of time.” From Super Consciousness: The Quest for Peak Experience, by Colin Wilson
It’s so funny to me (funny-weird) that I was planning to write about this exact phenomenon already this morning, and then I went to read the next chapter of this book, only to discover that it addressed this topic specifically. How perfectly placed in my life and time, no? Bizarre, really…but then again, I have a feeling I might have many such moments as I make my way through Colin Wilson’s prolific writings.
Anyhow, the reason I wanted to write about this stems from yesterday’s experience—I didn’t sleep well at all the night before (due undoubtedly to one of those monthly hormonal fluctuations that cause sleep disruptions for many women). Instead, I spent the night tossing and turning and probably only getting about four or five hours instead of my usual eight or nine.
Now, there was a time in my life during which I regularly lived on such a small amount of sleep, and when I think back to that time, I realize that I was barely hanging onto my sanity (whatever that really means or is) as a result. The thing is, when I don’t get the right amount of sleep for my body, and especially now that I’ve created a lifestyle for myself in which getting enough sleep is the norm and not the exception, I can actually feel and observe that I am not the same person that I am when I do get enough sleep. And this is exactly what Wilson points out in the above quote—that when we are tired, we don’t see the world or life in the same fashion that we do when we’re well-rested and energetic.
One of the best ways to deal with this, if you are forced to stumble through a bleary day of weariness like I was yesterday, is to be self-aware and to grasp this knowledge fully—to truly have control of your mind, along with a deep comprehension that you feel and think more negatively when your physical being is fatigued. If you can hold this truth in your head through the difficult day, and not let it take over and crumble your inner persona, you have at least started on the pathway toward greater self mastery and emotional control.
I know for a fact that this—my lack of good-quality and quantity sleep through much of my life—played a big role in the issues with depression I struggled with for so long. It’s a vicious cycle, too, because the more exhausted you become, the less control you have over your thoughts and the more your mind can torment you virtually unabated, seemingly without your conscious consent or control.
But to hold this knowledge of how physical fatigue drains your mental and emotional capacities for joy and optimism as well—well, it frees you from having that state instantly or uncontrollably plummet you into a downward spiral of depression or hopelessness or negativity. So now, when I get up and face a day like yesterday, one in which I feel low energy and not particularly positive, I can actually just remind myself and tell myself all day long, “You feel this way because you’re way too tired. You’re not thinking the way you would if you were well-rested. Oops, there’s another unconstructive thought that needs to be tossed out like the trash it is,” and so forth. It’s amazing, really, how knowledge of something so simple can solve a seemingly enormous issue.
What else works? Well, yesterday, I had a schedule set to make myself write four article assignments that I’d accepted—and while my tired grumpy inner baby kept trying to pull my attention from that, especially with each completed article (“Hey, you’ve done two articles, why don’t you just stop for the day?”), the disciplinarian won out. Why? Because keeping myself busy and focused on specific tasks outside of myself, instead of focusing on my weary state, is one of the best ways to prevent those silly pessimistic low-energy thoughts from even popping up at all. Plus, then, at the end of the day, a person will always feel better about everything if they’ve accomplished what they set out to do at the start of the day.
And so I did, and I do—and of course, this morning, I awoke from a sound night of sleep to think all of the above, and to realize that (as always) life seems more vibrant and exciting and beautiful and engaging when I feel physically good as a baseline starting point. A strong, healthy, well-nourished, well-rested vehicle (body) serves as the fertile ground for an upbeat, optimistic, happy perspective on life and the world outside. A person has to cultivate physical fitness to the best of her ability level, then, in order to achieve a top level of functioning on the mental and emotional planes as well. Hence that age-old advice: “Get some rest, and you’ll feel better in the morning.”