Yesterday's Bouldering Session
The stronger I get, the more fun climbing is. I reflected on this again after yesterday’s bouldering session, followed by my weekly pure power workout. I’m starting to really feel a cool, new sensation in my bouldering, this ability to power with one arm—it’s so awesome and amazing; I can’t even begin to describe really (words, so pathetically inept at capturing feelings) what it feels like, after such a long time of not having the capability to do such moves. I feel like I have this machine I’ve been given, called a body, and I’m just now honing it and polishing it into its potential, just now comprehending all that it can and will be capable of doing. And every step forward is a new and enlightening experience of being alive and living in this body.
As my strength grows, so does my confidence, and so does my sense of inner security, in the knowledge that I AM capable, that I CAN do this move. And as my belief in my ability expands, I experience greater growth and greater success—the mind-body link at work. These things all go hand in hand, whether we’re talking about sheer physical ability, or a job, or a household project, or anything, really. If we put the time in to nurture and build ourselves from the inside out, we gain inner strength, confidence, and security as a result of the work that we put into it. We grow more confident and self assured, knowing that we’ve spent the time refining and honing our skill sets and our minds, bodies, and spirits, for whatever elements are involved in any given situation.
Then, when we are faced with a challenge, because we’ve put the time in to address the areas required to perform with excellence and conviction, we don’t feel the need to look outside of ourselves for approval or accolades—because this is not what we’re searching for, anyhow. If we already know that we possess the strength and ability, then we can simply live it, and enjoy it, for the sparkling momentary bliss of results that comes from the discipline put in. Those, for me, are the moments of pure joy and oneness, that great sense of universal expansiveness in which living is paradise in the moment.
When I push my body through an amazing sequence of movement in climbing that I know I couldn’t have done even six months ago, or when I write an article that I lose myself in the process of writing for hours on end, or when I’m running in the desert as a small fragment of the vast untrammeled scenery spread out around me—these are the moments of pure living, minus any and all extraneous b.s. There is no feedback necessary for such experiences, because they are performed from a place of pure living in the present, for the moment, in the moment, the flowing moment of being.
Experiencing these moments comes more easily and frequently for those who take the time to put the effort into cultivating strength, confidence, and security in themselves and their choices—for those who realize that really, those three qualities can only come from within, anyhow. Nearly every person stands on shaky ground in those areas at some point (or many points or even wholly) in their lives, or in some area(s) of their lives. But in the areas of deepest concern or in which a person wishes to pursue excellence, they will do themselves the greatest favor in putting the necessary time in to encourage and support the needed skills and strengths to be the best they can be in that particular domain.
And with this effort comes a release from the need to compete or compare with others, as also to seek out the approval of others—for by pushing oneself solely for oneself, a person develops a strength from within, a confidence in their choices, a sense of security in who they are and the purpose behind what they do, regardless of what others think, say, or do. They’re not threatened by those with more honed skills, nor are they put off by those who disbelieve in them. Because they know themselves, they rest comfortably in their own place and being.
I’ve been watching this process in myself in terms of climbing on severely steep routes and boulder problems. Before, I shied away from this sort of terrain, knowing full well that I didn’t have the skill set or strength to climb as I wished to climb on this angle—in fact, I felt pathetically inept and weak, and I was ashamed of my weakness. Even last winter, though I spent much of my bouldering time on the steepest wall in the gym, I didn’t really like it, because it didn’t make me feel strong or like a good climber. I always was happy to have the guys set problems for me on the less-steep walls, because I felt more in my element, more secure, confident, and strong, on these more comfortable angles.
Much to my delight, I’ve realized that this has changed completely this winter. Every time I head out to climb in the gym, I seek out the steepest wall as soon as I’m warmed up, and there I stay, dynoing, pinching, and slapping slopers, until I’m too fatigued to hold onto that angle any more. I love it! It’s so different from my old climbing style, and also, so relatively new to me in comparison to the other angles, that it’s like a mad learning-fest every time. Because I have more strength, I have more confidence in my ability to climb on this wall. And because I have more confidence in my ability, I have more security in myself and my capacity to actually do moves, even when a part of my mind still doubts me. It’s easier now to just tell it to shut up, and then go ahead and jump. It’s those momentary leaps of faith that delight me the most—especially when my hand connects with the next hold and leaves me dangling with my feet off, wreathed in giddy aura of newfound success.
In addition to my professional rock climbing career, I have also worked as a succesful freelance writer for more than a decade. See 
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